Why Is it So Hard to Make Friends When You Have Small Children?

I never believed it would be hard for me to make friends after my first child was born. As he got older he was one of those cute, adorable, little boys any mom would want her kid to play with...but it was far from easy. In fact I still do not have a mom friend who I talk to ever for more than 5 minutes and that is while waiting for our kids at preschool. The preschool is filled with groups of moms who kind of resemble cliques from high school. The younger hip crowd hangs out all the time together and their kids all know each other. I ran into another group of moms (from preschool) at the swim park who actually went on my dream-mom-weekend in Hawaii and left the kids with the dads. Over the last several years I have hiked occasionally with an outdoor hiking group for moms, but, no...no friends made there either. If it wasn't for my friend in Chatsworth or my dear former neighbor (who I miss very much) I wouldn't have survived those first years. During our first preschool year W. Logan and I were invited for a play date. He was young and wasn't used to playing with other kids and they didn't want to meet with us again. (I probably should mention that I was pregnant last year and obviously had a new baby this year, and this didn't help the situation.) Last year we had a birthday party for him and invited the whole class but only four families out of 18 came. I think the final straw that broke the camels back was when my sons best friends mom said she 'doesn't do play dates'  ...something about her husband not approving. I was so crushed since she seemed nice and so were her kids. I have officially given up trying  half-heartedly to find mom-friends. So that brings me back to our plan to move to a small town in a house off-the-grid...I think I will become a mom-hermit. I used to be so good at making and maintaining friendships.