Tall, Grande, Venti, and Trenta....

A couple weeks ago while ordering a Venti Iced Carmel Macciatto, I noticed that starbucks drinks can come in Trenta sizes! Wow...thought a venti was pushing it some time ago. I used to order tall drinks until number one came along, then moved up to grande, and now with number two I've surpassed that and have moved on to venti. Ya, I didn't say that..isn't that terrible?

Caribou Hunting

Several years ago I thought it was ultra adventurous to take an infant tent camping. Now we are going backpacking with an infant and a preschooler to go caribou hunting for five days!. This wouldn't seem all that crazy except the trail is known as bear corridor. These critters aren't just little California brown bears, these are giant brown grizzly bears. Anyway my grizzly bear nightmares have started up again. The wolves, lynx, wolverines etc shouldn't bother us. Luckily we are going with a friend and sleeping in rustic wooden cabin huts. The logistics are insane... for example, if we bring a caribou home (the meat and antlers) there will be 100+ lbs extra to haul home on a 13 mile-trail. Then there are diapers to pack, warm clothes, rain gear, food, hunting gear and, the list goes on....I hope it is fun and not as challenging as two kids on a 10-hour plane ride across the atlantic!

Green Goo

Today was the intro day of preschool for my oldest, and it was almost like we hadn't been gone for three months. His favorite teacher is back and he didn't want to leave when it was time to go. Life was starting to be so much more positive lately until my MIL sent my husband an email today detailing ever little item (about 20 items) she was sending to the kids. The history is that she doesn't like me and made it realy clear at her house for the funeral this summer. I was so shocked and hurt that I didn't know what to say other than ask why and leave as soon as possible! For the last five years I thought we were friends and got along pretty good. I appreciate her sending the items (at least the school clothes) but why the detailed list? It makes me feel like she thinks I'm going to take them and hide them, but if her son sees the list, she can somehow make sure they get them even down to the candy and green goo!

Rhythm of Life

Rhythm is something I crave so much...I love to have predictable nap times, preschool times, bedtimes etc. and it is always a struggle to establish regular times. I can't think of any job out there that drags you out of bed at 2:30 am and then 4:30 am and then all day long and repeat. Maybe a fire fighter has a similar schedule, but then he/she gets to sleep for a long 24 hour period every couple days. I think mothers should get the same 24 hour break every few days. Mothers are always putting out fires of screaming kids, hungry kids, muddy kids, grumpy kids, messy diapers at all hours of the day and night. On top of all that there is a messy house to clean, screaming goats to feed, shedding dogs to feed and brush, hairy cats, frog tanks to clean, bills to pay, business to run and meals to prepare. Preschool is starting soon, and that means there will be more rhythm and schedules happening so that maybe I can squeeze a space for everything to fit in.

Espresso

It is so marvelous because I have a mocha in front of me and my two kids are in bed at the same time. It is always a miracle when that happens. The older one was up at 4:30 this morning, so I really hope he sleeps. My three shots of espresso will really go a long way, so I hope to get to some piles today. Unfortunately the dishwasher broke yesterday, so I now have a pile of dishes to go with the other piles. Ahhhh, I need a pile vacuum.

The Piles

Not only is life foggy when you can never get to the bottom of the laundry pile or the mountain of bills and paperwork on the desk or ever really clean anything in your house, but it gets really foggy when death claims the life of a loved one and shrugs off the shroud of perceived peace in your family. Sometimes I feel the need to hunker down into the life our family of four and not venture out.
On to a happy note, a 5-month-year-old old smile is so bright it can light up your world like sun shining through the fog.

Foggy Tunnel

My neighbor once told me that the first three years of motherhood are like being in a dark tunnel as your life becomes so turned upside down and your sense of mental survival is stretched. I decided it is more like a foggy tunnel to me, because it isn't really a dark time of your life but one that is ensconsed in an enveloping fog. I always feel like the fog line is just out of my reach as my lack of sleep, growing backache (from picking up my new 20-lb baby), family stresses, life junk keeps piling on...My blog is just my experience of this fog and my hope that I will reach above the fog line and see my old self again.